Post Show Recovery....

Before I begin from where I left off- let me just state that I certainly didn't have a bad case of writers block... I was just extremely busy focusing on nailing every last detail for this particular contest prep! This time around I planned on "dotting every I"and "crossing every t," leaving me with no choice but  to do my absolute best! I wanted to walk away from this show in particular, knowing that I had accomplished just what I set out to do. Not to say that I didn't really do my best for the past shows, it's just that I felt deep down, my past show preps were mediocre and I had a lot of obstacles that prevented me from putting so much attention and detail into it.  I knew this would take patience and sacrifice. My area of weakness was mainly my stage presence- I knew this in my heart, along with certain areas on my body that I thought needed work ( mainly my backside). I was mentally prepared for all of the changes that needed to happen.

So I will start off where I left off back in July. I had joined a team  Elite Heat ,as I knew this was what I needed to get me to my goals. I needed the extra accountability, I needed a few diet tweaks, a different approach on my training, and most importantly I needed to practice and work on  my stage presence! I also knew that all of this would require some extra help and patience from( mainly) my husband. I questioned if he would in fact understand what exactly this meant-  as he himself doesn't share the same goals and aspirations, making this even more of a challenge for me. At that moment my plan was to take each day as they were.

A few days after my last post we left as a family,  for a two and half long week vacation.. A two day drive  to South Carolina and my six pack in tow.... I was prepared as ever to be on vacation and yes to maintain my diet of eating clean and training hard.  I was able to find a gym close by so I could continue my training. I woke up every morning early, got my workouts in as was back in time for a 7 am walk on the beach with my husband while most of the kids slept. Thank goodness I'm a bit of a planner. Each morning on vacation and even leading up to when we left my training got intense. By intense I mean, I sort of trained every day without the necessary rest in between just so it would work into my vacation travel schedule. Sheer determination and will pushed me each and every day. So much so that while on vacation, I sort of knowingly, (yet un-knowingly) ended up over-training, therefore injuring myself!!!! I now had a medium size tear in my elbow. Ouch, oh my f****in pain!!!! As soon as I returned home, I had an MRI to prove that my injury was in fact pretty bad. I explained to my doctor my circumstance and the goals I had set out for myself. The option of quitting was not an option.  I had to make adjustments within my training. Each day  I worked through the pain- making safe and adequate changes in order to not cause further damage.  I struggled with my thoughts. during this time. Would I be able to achieve the look I was going for? Would I build enough muscle? Although I struggled with those thoughts I somehow knew deep down that I could do this.  My body wasn't what I needed to work on as much as I so needed to work on my stage presence!

A few weeks upon returning home from vacation- this was were my real challenges would now come into play. Now it was time for me to head into NY City for one hour posing sessions that began at 6pm. Yup- RUSH-HOUR!!!!!! Now I live 45 min away and that's without traffic. That meant my husband needed to come home from work early, deal with dinner, my four kids and the crazy after school madness.  I took each week in stride the best way I could. This was beginning of the stress that was put both on myself (mostly from traffic )and my husband who isn't used to managing the craziness that I've become accustomed too. His struggles left me feeling even more stressed and filled me with anxiety, self doubt and guilt! At this point I had a commitment to myself and to my team. I had to continue. I did my best to help ease the extra craziness at home by explaining my situation to the kids. This seemed to help a bit.

Well my point in all this, is that there are a lot of little details that come with competing. So many- that unless your walking in the same shoes, it can be really hard for the average person to understand. I'm the kind of person that learns by doing. I needed to be self sufficient in order to save money. Which for those that aren't sure, all these little details add up quickly. The suits start in the $200 price range and go into the thousands.  I  was lucky enough to find a woman at my gym that would end sewing suit from left over fabric from my dear friend and fellow team mate.  I purchased my own stones to crystallize it myself. I researched until I found a pattern ,that not only appealed to me, but that I could easily  re-create. It came out beautiful and fit me like a glove. So, that was my first way in saving. I also learned how to apply my own make up and knew enough to get free samples from Sephora. My husband applied my tan= another saving. In the past I did my own hair, but this time I decided to have a good friend help as I was trying to soften my look. Which intern ended up being another small cost.

Months of posing finally paid off and gave me the confidence I had been struggling with. After all, I was chasing that feeling. That feeling of accomplishment. I wanted to walk away from this show knowing that I had done all that I set out to do!

My show came and went... It was 4 days ago. The day in itself was amazing. In true organized fashion and totally typical of me, I arrived 2 hours early. I know it sounds crazy- but I did it for a few reasons, parking was one of them,( yup I managed to get a spot immediately outside the venue). Again saving more money    (no parking fees or tickets) My second reason was so I could be in my element of calmness and free of stress. I didn't want to rush, I didn't want to have anyone waiting for me. I wanted to get ready and be ready to help others, my team mates, my friends, and now I'm happy to call each one of them- members of my fit family. There's nothing better than being surrounded by so many that get it! After all we all sort of planned and prepped in similar ways.  It's not easy! If it were more people would do it. Which brings me to the point of just why I enjoy doing this. And that point is... To help inspire others, to guide them, to show them how they can feel better about themselves. To teach them of my experiences.

Lastly bringing  me to post show recovery! The show itself-  like I stated earlier was great! The attendance was very low in terms of competitors. I'm not even sure what the audience was like? All I know, that besides only having my husband there to cheer me on, I now had fellow teammates there as well, and boy did that feel amazing!!!!!! I was successful in my delivery as far as stage presence went. I was smooth, smiley, and most of all comfortable. I was proud of my performance and proud of my body as well. There were only 5 competitors in my category. When it came time for trophies, I felt confident that I would do well. Well, wouldn't you know it... I came in 5th?   Great, yet still last? My mind was filled  with confusion, and somewhat disappointed? I'm not gonna lie. What made me feel even worse, is that I felt sad and that I somehow had let my husband down. After all, he made some sacrifices of his own and the long 16 week prep wasn't easy on him.  Oh well, I guess this just wasn't my year to win? As it would be both shows I've done this year, I came in last! This was however, my year to learn, to grow, and to get a better understanding of myself and exactly what I'm capable off. I meet new life long friends, we shared lots of laughs and frustrations together, making this whole experience worth it!

So, it's time to end the disappointment, and confusion, and move forward. Always remembering- how great I feel when I'm working towards a new goal. It's time to set new goals and start the process all over again. Although, I can't say that process will be to train for another show just yet. I have other related goals in mind. I need to heal my elbow first. If you believe you can than you will! Keep that mind strong and continue to do what makes you feel good inside...

Sometimes you need to step away, take a few things off your plate, re-shift your focus and figure out what it is you want to accomplish...

Well, it's been awhile since my last post and given the topic, that is exactly what I needed to do. I had to step back and take a good hard look at just where I was going and how I was going to get there. I realized I had way too much on my plate...like being an extremely busy mom- isn't enough, I was eagerly trying my best to share my knowledge and heck, even make some money doing just that. I have all these wonderful ideas, (maybe too many) nonetheless, my workshops were unsuccessful and not many people came. That left me feeling frustrated, sad, disappointed and confused. What was I doing wrong, why aren't people interested, how can I make this work? These are all questions that I began asking myself on a daily bases- so much so, that ultimately I just needed a breather! I needed to step away and take a few things off my plate temporarily, anyway.  

Even though my mind was severely cluttered, I couldn't stop thinking about my life as a fitness competitor. I just couldn't let this go, deep down I wanted more. I wanted this next journey to be different...I wanted to be able to just give it 200% and walk away with that feeling of "I've done it"! I've done absolutely the best I can and be happy with that feeling. This was the first thing that came to my mind when I began to prioritize. Of course being Mommy will always be my first priority but competing is a close second for the time being anyway... 

So with that being said, I've decided to join a team. "The Elite Heat" coached by Malenna Saunders. This team is based out of New York City and I'm so excited and thrilled to be apart of this amazing, unstoppable team... I've known Malenna for sometime and have even had the pleasure of hanging with some of the girls from the team at my last show. There are so many positives to being part of a team and I realized I was sort of missing out. Like I stated in my earlier posts, one of my major struggles was having that accountability. Even though, I have the drive, the determination, that was the one thing that would help me get to the next level (competition wise) and for some that accountability can help them from spiraling into a negative pit that can ultimately keep you from ever seeing results. Along with accountability, being part of a team, brings you new friends, new ideas, and people that really understand you 100% because- they too are doing the exact things you are (eating and training wise.) It's not something people understand.

 For some odd reason, doing what we do, isn't as socially acceptable as being a triathlete, or a marathon runner. I've gotten some nasty looks and remarks from people that are close to me and people I don't even know...and I've heard other competitors speaking of the same topic backstage. I'm not sure why that is...all I know is there are so many benefits for me personally- for doing what I do. #1. I'm teaching my kids a healthy lifestyle and not by forcing them either, I want that to be their decision and when they're ready. #2. It gives me more energy..yes- even when I'm up and at the gym at 5:30 am before anyone is even awake in my house. #3. That energy makes my days more positive #4. It makes me look younger ( I swear this is the ticket to the fountain of youth) #5. It keeps me healthy all year round- less colds, flu & illness..just to name a few!

Along with training for my next show (which is 14 weeks away) I plan on studying for my personal training certification once my kids have returned to school. Until then my workshops will remain on hold. I'm already feeling less overwhelmed and very excited to continue this journey for my 6th show. Once again I will blog every week until showtime....

Be sure and check out my fitness page on Facebook- Sonia Ryan Fitness- I've got some new summer recipes for you to try....

It's almost summertime....

Somehow with all the summertime prep and all the running around I feel as if I've sort of lost sight of my goals. I feel like shit, exhausted, bloated and filled with anxiety...What the hell happened? Life is what happened... Just when you think you've got a few weeks to get everything done before the kids are home from school for the summer, you're bombarded with all the forgotten end of the year activities! Yikes, it doesn't take long to undo all the hard work and dedication in building a better you. This I feel is especially true when your body is used to eating and training a certain way and you fall of course, in return the worse you end up feeling. Which brings me back to square one, yet again!!!!!!Ugh, I despise square one!!!!! Why and how did I let this happen???? Somehow you feel like its ok to take time off, your body needs a break both mentally and physically, yet all of a sudden you fall into that rut of missed meals or that extra cheat and before you know it, you feel absolutely disgusting! I know I'm certainly not the only person to feel this way.... Totally relate able, right? I'm sure even the pros have been in a few ruts.

 Well that is exactly how I feel at this point. Now, I know most of you would think that last weeks picture I looked great or even fine, but I think for me its more of a feeling more than how I look. Although, I still care about how I look, as we all yearn for improvement physically...but ultimately I just feel yuckie.  Besides, I'm not even close to what my own standards are at this point. I've set a goal and feel like
haven't successfully made it a week into my plan. At this point I just need to dig deep, get a grip and just focus on my end result! No more damn excuses or stuffing my face with not so clean food, not that I have been doing that totally... Lets just say my clean eating has only been at about 80%...and that just isn't gonna work, not for the results and feelings I'm looking for anyway! It's time to wipe the slate clean and get the hell off square 1!

For me summers are even crazier than the school year if you can believe it! The kids are busy with the lake activities and swimming lessons. I spend my mornings driving around the lake dropping and picking the kids up at least 3-5 times within the hours of 9 am- 12 noon. Then we are all back at the beach again for more lessons and activities. So, I have no choice but to get my workouts in early morning, NO EXCUSES! I CAN DO THIS!!! I WILL DO THIS!!!! I just need a good solid week of getting back on track and deep down, I just know that once I start feeling better on the inside, there's no stopping me! I'm going to have to get past the fact that I don't have anyone holding me accountable. These are my goals, my dreams and at the end of the day I just have to stick to my plan an use my frustration as fuel. Right now, my tank is full and I'm so ready to get there!!!

Don't wait for Monday....Start now and Stay focused! Dust off that food journal, start logging and sweat harder. Make everyday count and within a week or two, you won't regret it!!! Promise...

7 weeks to prep for my 1st photo shoot...

My last post was about accountability and what a better way to start off my week than to hold myself accountable- by sharing my own weekly progress photos. My next goal is to do a photo shoot in about 7 weeks. I don't have anything penciled in yet officially, but it's something I'd like to try. If getting on stage isn't your thing, this is another great way to motivate yourself to get that healthy fit body you want. Like most competitors I don't enjoy taking too much time off from my regular schedule of (eating clean and training) Yet, this past month was filled with moments that keep me from staying on track. Heck, maybe it was my body saying relax, take a break? Either way, I'm happy and excited to have something else to work towards. I also had the pleasure of going to watch some of my friends compete over the weekend. They all did such a great job and I'm so proud of all of them. Go Elite Heat Girls!!! This was also another great motivator. I hadn't watched a show since before my very first time competing back in 2011. It gave me a new perspective on things and that push to work harder on my own improvements. I've got big plans for my next show this fall!

80% of results come from the kitchen...

So with that being said it's time to work hard, sweat, sweat, & sweat some more. I've got my work cut out for me and most wouldn't even attempt this during the summer but I'm not sweating it! All I can focus on is the end results and the way I will feel when I get there...

My picture as promised...I'm smiling even though I'm not where I want to be physically but because I know with hard work, dedication, accountabilty and detemination I will get there...Stay focused, Stay Strong and Set Goals....

Accountability....

I've got no choice but to believe this... as the obstacles have been more and more challenging to say the least. I feel as if my goals has been put on hold...frustrating, YES, yet I know that there is something inside me that just won't quit till I get there and even then- I'll be setting new goals! I realize just how lucky I am to have that drive, ambition, and discipline to reach those goals. However, I also am beginning to realize the importance in having someone to hold me accountable. That is one of the reason's I put together my fitness workshops...to educate people on what it takes to achieve a fit and healthy body, the importance in making time for themselves and to create a community in which they'd make friends to help hold them accountable, along with myself. There is no greater joy than knowing you've helped someone in some way. With that being said I feel that even with all my good intentions, drive, & dedication, I can't help but feel like I'm stuck in a situation where I myself could use some help with accountability. One great way of doing this is writing a food journal, and taking a weekly photo of your progess. Both of which I have yet to do as promised.....I was stuck in that obstacle I guess? Tomorrow is a new beginning and I will begin writing in my food journal and most importantly I will be taking my weekly progess photos. You'll be amazed how quickly your body can change when you fall out of your routine and even more impressed how quickly you can get it back, that is if you try to stick with eating clean year round. So stay tuned and feel free to cheer me on- as we could all use positive feedback from time to time.

Work Hard & Stay Humble!

Time to get going again...

I'm starting to think I'm getting really good at picking myself up after so many damn setbacks...I ended up with that awful stomach bug that my kids had! UGH!!!On top of that a few other things I had hoped would work out- didn't. You'd think at this point I'd give up...NO WAY IN HELL...These disappointments, these setbacks, only fuel my mind with determination to get where I want to get. I want to be successful in helping others reach their fitness goals as much as I want to be successful in reaching my own. For the past few years many of my friends and family have asked why I was doing this and why did I love this so much? Now ever so slowly few have started to ask how?   I can tell you this, there is no better feeling, than working really hard for something you've set out to do, sticking to a plan and reaching a goal, no matter how big or how small. That feeling of success, like you did it, well that is what keeps me going! I won't stop setting goals and you shouldn't either. Sometimes life can pound on you so hard, it can make you feel defeated for a short moment but you just have to think of what means more to you? Giving up because your not where you wanted to be and things have gotten in your way or pushing forward and not stopping till you get there? I know I'm a lot stronger than I was yesterday and I'm not giving up. All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live-the story of your own unique life...Be Proud, Be Confident, and most of all Be Happy!

Check out my favorite recipes on the right side of my blog as I'll be adding a few new recipes each week.

Sometimes when it Rains it Pours...

I should have taken my 3rd picture by now for my personal documentation of my new implemented plan, I have yet to fully start due to being stuck in "Shit Creek"! I'm sure many of you can relate- during that off season, as I'm sure many of you have even felt the same way, even if your not a competitor. We've all felt that way at some point. You're eager to get back on schedule, work on improvements, get back to training hard, eating clean with only one weekend cheat treat, yet somehow you find yourself up shit creek? Well, for me between being terribly sick last week, to going away for the holiday weekend, to the kids bringing home yet another nasty stomach virus.....UGH!!!! I can't let this damn creek get me down..."life is life" after all... I just have to start me new plan and stick to it as soon as I can. I have a new goal and I want to reach it. I'm not afraid of hard work or determination. I will however admit to suffering from severe frustration when I'm unable to stick to a plan and that is also something I need to work on.

Which brings me to another topic: The topic of off season indulgences! Why do we competitors feel the need to over indulge during this time???? I feel like so many of us do that, and I have even talked about it with my fellow competitors? It's like so many people tell you that it's ok to take time off and eat shitty, be normal and that it's good for the body....Yet, why is it we feel so incredibly disgusting when we eat what people call normal food? All the more reason for me to just stick to the once a week cheat year round when not competing...I think I've learned my lesson. Right now, I feel like a water buffalo, swimming through the skies of cottage cheese! I'm eager to get back on track and begin my new plan. Starting with my first picture. My plan has been written out and printed on my refrigerator. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm sticking to my plan come hell or high water.

Bring on the sunshine! I'm heading to the river of success....