Post Show Recovery....

Before I begin from where I left off- let me just state that I certainly didn't have a bad case of writers block... I was just extremely busy focusing on nailing every last detail for this particular contest prep! This time around I planned on "dotting every I"and "crossing every t," leaving me with no choice but  to do my absolute best! I wanted to walk away from this show in particular, knowing that I had accomplished just what I set out to do. Not to say that I didn't really do my best for the past shows, it's just that I felt deep down, my past show preps were mediocre and I had a lot of obstacles that prevented me from putting so much attention and detail into it.  I knew this would take patience and sacrifice. My area of weakness was mainly my stage presence- I knew this in my heart, along with certain areas on my body that I thought needed work ( mainly my backside). I was mentally prepared for all of the changes that needed to happen.

So I will start off where I left off back in July. I had joined a team  Elite Heat ,as I knew this was what I needed to get me to my goals. I needed the extra accountability, I needed a few diet tweaks, a different approach on my training, and most importantly I needed to practice and work on  my stage presence! I also knew that all of this would require some extra help and patience from( mainly) my husband. I questioned if he would in fact understand what exactly this meant-  as he himself doesn't share the same goals and aspirations, making this even more of a challenge for me. At that moment my plan was to take each day as they were.

A few days after my last post we left as a family,  for a two and half long week vacation.. A two day drive  to South Carolina and my six pack in tow.... I was prepared as ever to be on vacation and yes to maintain my diet of eating clean and training hard.  I was able to find a gym close by so I could continue my training. I woke up every morning early, got my workouts in as was back in time for a 7 am walk on the beach with my husband while most of the kids slept. Thank goodness I'm a bit of a planner. Each morning on vacation and even leading up to when we left my training got intense. By intense I mean, I sort of trained every day without the necessary rest in between just so it would work into my vacation travel schedule. Sheer determination and will pushed me each and every day. So much so that while on vacation, I sort of knowingly, (yet un-knowingly) ended up over-training, therefore injuring myself!!!! I now had a medium size tear in my elbow. Ouch, oh my f****in pain!!!! As soon as I returned home, I had an MRI to prove that my injury was in fact pretty bad. I explained to my doctor my circumstance and the goals I had set out for myself. The option of quitting was not an option.  I had to make adjustments within my training. Each day  I worked through the pain- making safe and adequate changes in order to not cause further damage.  I struggled with my thoughts. during this time. Would I be able to achieve the look I was going for? Would I build enough muscle? Although I struggled with those thoughts I somehow knew deep down that I could do this.  My body wasn't what I needed to work on as much as I so needed to work on my stage presence!

A few weeks upon returning home from vacation- this was were my real challenges would now come into play. Now it was time for me to head into NY City for one hour posing sessions that began at 6pm. Yup- RUSH-HOUR!!!!!! Now I live 45 min away and that's without traffic. That meant my husband needed to come home from work early, deal with dinner, my four kids and the crazy after school madness.  I took each week in stride the best way I could. This was beginning of the stress that was put both on myself (mostly from traffic )and my husband who isn't used to managing the craziness that I've become accustomed too. His struggles left me feeling even more stressed and filled me with anxiety, self doubt and guilt! At this point I had a commitment to myself and to my team. I had to continue. I did my best to help ease the extra craziness at home by explaining my situation to the kids. This seemed to help a bit.

Well my point in all this, is that there are a lot of little details that come with competing. So many- that unless your walking in the same shoes, it can be really hard for the average person to understand. I'm the kind of person that learns by doing. I needed to be self sufficient in order to save money. Which for those that aren't sure, all these little details add up quickly. The suits start in the $200 price range and go into the thousands.  I  was lucky enough to find a woman at my gym that would end sewing suit from left over fabric from my dear friend and fellow team mate.  I purchased my own stones to crystallize it myself. I researched until I found a pattern ,that not only appealed to me, but that I could easily  re-create. It came out beautiful and fit me like a glove. So, that was my first way in saving. I also learned how to apply my own make up and knew enough to get free samples from Sephora. My husband applied my tan= another saving. In the past I did my own hair, but this time I decided to have a good friend help as I was trying to soften my look. Which intern ended up being another small cost.

Months of posing finally paid off and gave me the confidence I had been struggling with. After all, I was chasing that feeling. That feeling of accomplishment. I wanted to walk away from this show knowing that I had done all that I set out to do!

My show came and went... It was 4 days ago. The day in itself was amazing. In true organized fashion and totally typical of me, I arrived 2 hours early. I know it sounds crazy- but I did it for a few reasons, parking was one of them,( yup I managed to get a spot immediately outside the venue). Again saving more money    (no parking fees or tickets) My second reason was so I could be in my element of calmness and free of stress. I didn't want to rush, I didn't want to have anyone waiting for me. I wanted to get ready and be ready to help others, my team mates, my friends, and now I'm happy to call each one of them- members of my fit family. There's nothing better than being surrounded by so many that get it! After all we all sort of planned and prepped in similar ways.  It's not easy! If it were more people would do it. Which brings me to the point of just why I enjoy doing this. And that point is... To help inspire others, to guide them, to show them how they can feel better about themselves. To teach them of my experiences.

Lastly bringing  me to post show recovery! The show itself-  like I stated earlier was great! The attendance was very low in terms of competitors. I'm not even sure what the audience was like? All I know, that besides only having my husband there to cheer me on, I now had fellow teammates there as well, and boy did that feel amazing!!!!!! I was successful in my delivery as far as stage presence went. I was smooth, smiley, and most of all comfortable. I was proud of my performance and proud of my body as well. There were only 5 competitors in my category. When it came time for trophies, I felt confident that I would do well. Well, wouldn't you know it... I came in 5th?   Great, yet still last? My mind was filled  with confusion, and somewhat disappointed? I'm not gonna lie. What made me feel even worse, is that I felt sad and that I somehow had let my husband down. After all, he made some sacrifices of his own and the long 16 week prep wasn't easy on him.  Oh well, I guess this just wasn't my year to win? As it would be both shows I've done this year, I came in last! This was however, my year to learn, to grow, and to get a better understanding of myself and exactly what I'm capable off. I meet new life long friends, we shared lots of laughs and frustrations together, making this whole experience worth it!

So, it's time to end the disappointment, and confusion, and move forward. Always remembering- how great I feel when I'm working towards a new goal. It's time to set new goals and start the process all over again. Although, I can't say that process will be to train for another show just yet. I have other related goals in mind. I need to heal my elbow first. If you believe you can than you will! Keep that mind strong and continue to do what makes you feel good inside...

Sometimes you need to step away, take a few things off your plate, re-shift your focus and figure out what it is you want to accomplish...

Well, it's been awhile since my last post and given the topic, that is exactly what I needed to do. I had to step back and take a good hard look at just where I was going and how I was going to get there. I realized I had way too much on my plate...like being an extremely busy mom- isn't enough, I was eagerly trying my best to share my knowledge and heck, even make some money doing just that. I have all these wonderful ideas, (maybe too many) nonetheless, my workshops were unsuccessful and not many people came. That left me feeling frustrated, sad, disappointed and confused. What was I doing wrong, why aren't people interested, how can I make this work? These are all questions that I began asking myself on a daily bases- so much so, that ultimately I just needed a breather! I needed to step away and take a few things off my plate temporarily, anyway.  

Even though my mind was severely cluttered, I couldn't stop thinking about my life as a fitness competitor. I just couldn't let this go, deep down I wanted more. I wanted this next journey to be different...I wanted to be able to just give it 200% and walk away with that feeling of "I've done it"! I've done absolutely the best I can and be happy with that feeling. This was the first thing that came to my mind when I began to prioritize. Of course being Mommy will always be my first priority but competing is a close second for the time being anyway... 

So with that being said, I've decided to join a team. "The Elite Heat" coached by Malenna Saunders. This team is based out of New York City and I'm so excited and thrilled to be apart of this amazing, unstoppable team... I've known Malenna for sometime and have even had the pleasure of hanging with some of the girls from the team at my last show. There are so many positives to being part of a team and I realized I was sort of missing out. Like I stated in my earlier posts, one of my major struggles was having that accountability. Even though, I have the drive, the determination, that was the one thing that would help me get to the next level (competition wise) and for some that accountability can help them from spiraling into a negative pit that can ultimately keep you from ever seeing results. Along with accountability, being part of a team, brings you new friends, new ideas, and people that really understand you 100% because- they too are doing the exact things you are (eating and training wise.) It's not something people understand.

 For some odd reason, doing what we do, isn't as socially acceptable as being a triathlete, or a marathon runner. I've gotten some nasty looks and remarks from people that are close to me and people I don't even know...and I've heard other competitors speaking of the same topic backstage. I'm not sure why that is...all I know is there are so many benefits for me personally- for doing what I do. #1. I'm teaching my kids a healthy lifestyle and not by forcing them either, I want that to be their decision and when they're ready. #2. It gives me more energy..yes- even when I'm up and at the gym at 5:30 am before anyone is even awake in my house. #3. That energy makes my days more positive #4. It makes me look younger ( I swear this is the ticket to the fountain of youth) #5. It keeps me healthy all year round- less colds, flu & illness..just to name a few!

Along with training for my next show (which is 14 weeks away) I plan on studying for my personal training certification once my kids have returned to school. Until then my workshops will remain on hold. I'm already feeling less overwhelmed and very excited to continue this journey for my 6th show. Once again I will blog every week until showtime....

Be sure and check out my fitness page on Facebook- Sonia Ryan Fitness- I've got some new summer recipes for you to try....

It's almost summertime....

Somehow with all the summertime prep and all the running around I feel as if I've sort of lost sight of my goals. I feel like shit, exhausted, bloated and filled with anxiety...What the hell happened? Life is what happened... Just when you think you've got a few weeks to get everything done before the kids are home from school for the summer, you're bombarded with all the forgotten end of the year activities! Yikes, it doesn't take long to undo all the hard work and dedication in building a better you. This I feel is especially true when your body is used to eating and training a certain way and you fall of course, in return the worse you end up feeling. Which brings me back to square one, yet again!!!!!!Ugh, I despise square one!!!!! Why and how did I let this happen???? Somehow you feel like its ok to take time off, your body needs a break both mentally and physically, yet all of a sudden you fall into that rut of missed meals or that extra cheat and before you know it, you feel absolutely disgusting! I know I'm certainly not the only person to feel this way.... Totally relate able, right? I'm sure even the pros have been in a few ruts.

 Well that is exactly how I feel at this point. Now, I know most of you would think that last weeks picture I looked great or even fine, but I think for me its more of a feeling more than how I look. Although, I still care about how I look, as we all yearn for improvement physically...but ultimately I just feel yuckie.  Besides, I'm not even close to what my own standards are at this point. I've set a goal and feel like
haven't successfully made it a week into my plan. At this point I just need to dig deep, get a grip and just focus on my end result! No more damn excuses or stuffing my face with not so clean food, not that I have been doing that totally... Lets just say my clean eating has only been at about 80%...and that just isn't gonna work, not for the results and feelings I'm looking for anyway! It's time to wipe the slate clean and get the hell off square 1!

For me summers are even crazier than the school year if you can believe it! The kids are busy with the lake activities and swimming lessons. I spend my mornings driving around the lake dropping and picking the kids up at least 3-5 times within the hours of 9 am- 12 noon. Then we are all back at the beach again for more lessons and activities. So, I have no choice but to get my workouts in early morning, NO EXCUSES! I CAN DO THIS!!! I WILL DO THIS!!!! I just need a good solid week of getting back on track and deep down, I just know that once I start feeling better on the inside, there's no stopping me! I'm going to have to get past the fact that I don't have anyone holding me accountable. These are my goals, my dreams and at the end of the day I just have to stick to my plan an use my frustration as fuel. Right now, my tank is full and I'm so ready to get there!!!

Don't wait for Monday....Start now and Stay focused! Dust off that food journal, start logging and sweat harder. Make everyday count and within a week or two, you won't regret it!!! Promise...

7 weeks to prep for my 1st photo shoot...

My last post was about accountability and what a better way to start off my week than to hold myself accountable- by sharing my own weekly progress photos. My next goal is to do a photo shoot in about 7 weeks. I don't have anything penciled in yet officially, but it's something I'd like to try. If getting on stage isn't your thing, this is another great way to motivate yourself to get that healthy fit body you want. Like most competitors I don't enjoy taking too much time off from my regular schedule of (eating clean and training) Yet, this past month was filled with moments that keep me from staying on track. Heck, maybe it was my body saying relax, take a break? Either way, I'm happy and excited to have something else to work towards. I also had the pleasure of going to watch some of my friends compete over the weekend. They all did such a great job and I'm so proud of all of them. Go Elite Heat Girls!!! This was also another great motivator. I hadn't watched a show since before my very first time competing back in 2011. It gave me a new perspective on things and that push to work harder on my own improvements. I've got big plans for my next show this fall!

80% of results come from the kitchen...

So with that being said it's time to work hard, sweat, sweat, & sweat some more. I've got my work cut out for me and most wouldn't even attempt this during the summer but I'm not sweating it! All I can focus on is the end results and the way I will feel when I get there...

My picture as promised...I'm smiling even though I'm not where I want to be physically but because I know with hard work, dedication, accountabilty and detemination I will get there...Stay focused, Stay Strong and Set Goals....

Accountability....

I've got no choice but to believe this... as the obstacles have been more and more challenging to say the least. I feel as if my goals has been put on hold...frustrating, YES, yet I know that there is something inside me that just won't quit till I get there and even then- I'll be setting new goals! I realize just how lucky I am to have that drive, ambition, and discipline to reach those goals. However, I also am beginning to realize the importance in having someone to hold me accountable. That is one of the reason's I put together my fitness workshops...to educate people on what it takes to achieve a fit and healthy body, the importance in making time for themselves and to create a community in which they'd make friends to help hold them accountable, along with myself. There is no greater joy than knowing you've helped someone in some way. With that being said I feel that even with all my good intentions, drive, & dedication, I can't help but feel like I'm stuck in a situation where I myself could use some help with accountability. One great way of doing this is writing a food journal, and taking a weekly photo of your progess. Both of which I have yet to do as promised.....I was stuck in that obstacle I guess? Tomorrow is a new beginning and I will begin writing in my food journal and most importantly I will be taking my weekly progess photos. You'll be amazed how quickly your body can change when you fall out of your routine and even more impressed how quickly you can get it back, that is if you try to stick with eating clean year round. So stay tuned and feel free to cheer me on- as we could all use positive feedback from time to time.

Work Hard & Stay Humble!

Time to get going again...

I'm starting to think I'm getting really good at picking myself up after so many damn setbacks...I ended up with that awful stomach bug that my kids had! UGH!!!On top of that a few other things I had hoped would work out- didn't. You'd think at this point I'd give up...NO WAY IN HELL...These disappointments, these setbacks, only fuel my mind with determination to get where I want to get. I want to be successful in helping others reach their fitness goals as much as I want to be successful in reaching my own. For the past few years many of my friends and family have asked why I was doing this and why did I love this so much? Now ever so slowly few have started to ask how?   I can tell you this, there is no better feeling, than working really hard for something you've set out to do, sticking to a plan and reaching a goal, no matter how big or how small. That feeling of success, like you did it, well that is what keeps me going! I won't stop setting goals and you shouldn't either. Sometimes life can pound on you so hard, it can make you feel defeated for a short moment but you just have to think of what means more to you? Giving up because your not where you wanted to be and things have gotten in your way or pushing forward and not stopping till you get there? I know I'm a lot stronger than I was yesterday and I'm not giving up. All you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live-the story of your own unique life...Be Proud, Be Confident, and most of all Be Happy!

Check out my favorite recipes on the right side of my blog as I'll be adding a few new recipes each week.

Sometimes when it Rains it Pours...

I should have taken my 3rd picture by now for my personal documentation of my new implemented plan, I have yet to fully start due to being stuck in "Shit Creek"! I'm sure many of you can relate- during that off season, as I'm sure many of you have even felt the same way, even if your not a competitor. We've all felt that way at some point. You're eager to get back on schedule, work on improvements, get back to training hard, eating clean with only one weekend cheat treat, yet somehow you find yourself up shit creek? Well, for me between being terribly sick last week, to going away for the holiday weekend, to the kids bringing home yet another nasty stomach virus.....UGH!!!! I can't let this damn creek get me down..."life is life" after all... I just have to start me new plan and stick to it as soon as I can. I have a new goal and I want to reach it. I'm not afraid of hard work or determination. I will however admit to suffering from severe frustration when I'm unable to stick to a plan and that is also something I need to work on.

Which brings me to another topic: The topic of off season indulgences! Why do we competitors feel the need to over indulge during this time???? I feel like so many of us do that, and I have even talked about it with my fellow competitors? It's like so many people tell you that it's ok to take time off and eat shitty, be normal and that it's good for the body....Yet, why is it we feel so incredibly disgusting when we eat what people call normal food? All the more reason for me to just stick to the once a week cheat year round when not competing...I think I've learned my lesson. Right now, I feel like a water buffalo, swimming through the skies of cottage cheese! I'm eager to get back on track and begin my new plan. Starting with my first picture. My plan has been written out and printed on my refrigerator. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm sticking to my plan come hell or high water.

Bring on the sunshine! I'm heading to the river of success....

On to My Next Plan...

I'm not giving up but it sure has been a rough week to say the least...another set back with illness. UGH!!!I swear next year I plan on getting a flu shot. My kids get it and every year they manage better than me. I was so incredibly sick with I think the flu..it started out with what I thought were allergies but quickly went right to my chest. I felt like all my bones had been shattered. All I could do was listen to my body and it did not let me out of bed on Monday. I didn't even get to the gym until Thursday... Even though I still don't feel 100%, it was great to be back! Finally, I could begin my new plan.  I had just spent last weekend writing up a new diet and workout plan for the next 8 weeks. As with any new plan, I was eager to start! Instead of getting down for not being able to start because of yet another set back, I just spent my days envisioning my end results and put my focus on this weekends workshop.

It's my 2nd workshop and I'm just as excited as I was for the first, yet not 1 person has signed up yet? I've sent out emails to those I feel might benefit or just overall interested. I've posted my fliers up at my gym (someone keeps taking them down..) I've driven all over North Jersey to promote (Vitamin Shoppe's, GNC, etc.) I've posted my fliers up on Goggle+ and even started a Facebook account. Yet, still nothing???A few that are very interested can't come because of scheduling. I can't let this get me down. I know I have something great to offer...This will take time. I have to remain positive. I live for this and hope one day someone will come up to me and say "because of you, I didn't give up!" Until then, I'm going to keep plugging away and trying to figure out how to get people to attend. I've made some delicious "Clean" Mango BBQ Sauce and Crispy Cinnamon Chick Peas as my healthy giveaways for attending the workshop. Each and every workshop I give will include an example of a healthy "Clean" treat. Most people don't even know that healthy food taste amazing. I'm always trying new clean recipes and part of my new plan during the off season is to have my kids help pick out a new recipe each week to try. If they are a hit, I will certainly be posting them on my blog and my Facebook page.

I've decided to not compete in a few weeks as originally planned. Instead I will go and watch and support my friends. I'm also going to observe and learn. I'm even thinking of doing a photo shoot at the end of my 8 week plan. Its something I've always wanted to do and it gives me that push to work extra hard. At the end of the day, I just have to push these setbacks away and focus on the plans ahead!! Life is always about improvement. I'm eager and willing to do everything I can in all aspects from being a better Mom, building a better body, getting my workshops up & running smoothly, etc. With a positive mind you can do anything you set your mind on. I really truly believe that with my whole heart!

Stay Strong, Make a Plan, Believe in It and Work Hard...It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, & to make your "Happiness" a priority...It's necessary! Plain & Simple...

Don't Give Up on Your Goals...

Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat!Boy, that is how I felt two weeks ago  after my show, but only for a few days...Thank god! I'm back to setting and reaching new goals. I just can't quit, after all I am hoping to be a role model to my kids and what would that teach them, if I quit? There are so many benefits to doing what I do. I'm teaching my kids the importance of living a healthy life, I'm teaching them that just because I'm older you can still dream & set goals, I'm showing them that hard work pays off and when you set your mind on anything...that mindset will get you there just by shear determination! I'm also showing them how to pick themselves up after they've fallen and to keep at it. Because, I fell, and I fell hard... After all, your children will become who you are, so be who you want them to be! 

I grew up the 2nd oldest of 11 children... My Mother never had time for herself nor did she ever really desire it & if she did, she certainly never showed it. God Bless her! Making time for yourself doesn't have to be for everyone but I feel like it makes me a better Mom. It gives me more patience and certainly helps keep me more organized. Now, I didn't start making time for myself until I had three kids but that doesn't mean you need to wait. The most important thing is, is to have support. Even if your not a busy Mom, its still very important to have that person to keep you in check, someone to say "Hey, you look great!" or "keep it up, it's paying off". That is why I started my workshops, to be that support and to share my knowledge thus far. Everyone has to start somewhere...right? It's my goal to create a network of support for like minded individuals. You get to workout and learn what it takes to get to your healthiest body. My next workshop will be on Sunday May 19th from 1p.m.-3p.m. at Edge Lifestyles Gym in Oakland, NJ. Hope you can make it or treat someone special (Great Mother's Day gift...) It's $35 for the workshop and limited to 25 people.

Now, that I'm back to setting new goals and even more driven than before! I took some time to change up my workouts and clean eating diet. It's about improvement and working harder to reach my own physical expectations. I've got only 28 days before the kids are out of school and when they are my gym time will either come even earlier or I will be at my hopeful maintenance point and won't have to go as often. My plan is to document this new plan by taking weekly progress pictures and staying true to my exact plan.  Staying true to the diet I wrote out for myself and if I need to make little tweaks to make note of it. I'm hoping this plan gets me the results I desire. Life is all about learning and if I have to go back to the drawing boards than so be it....I will keep you posted. Check out my Facebook Page...Sonia Ryan Fitness

In the meantime...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all you MOM'S out there...hope to meet some of you at my workshop. I will be handing out some clean treats...Clean BBQ sauce and Honey Roasted Chick Peas! Summer is right around the corner...

Clean Recipes...

Mexican Sweet Potatoes...

4 Sweet Potatoes

1/2c plain greek yogurt

1 can black beans rinsed

1 can corn rinsed

1/4c cilantro

1/4c red onions

1 Tbsp red chili flakes (optional)

1/4c pepper jack cheese (optional)

Bake sweet potatoes in oven for 30-45 minutes at 350*F. While potatoes are baking in a sprayed sauce pan with olive oil cook red onions, black beans and corn. Roast for 5-10 minutes. Once sweet potatoes are fully cooked  take them out of the oven and slice in half. Scoop out the middle leaving a thin layer on the skin. Mash the inside of sweet potato with plain greek yogurt, cilantro and red chili flakes. Add roasted corn, black beans and red onion to sweet potato mixture. Mix well and scoop back into sweet potato skins. Top with pepper jack cheese and bake until cheese is melted. If you decide to leave the cheese off bake for 10 minutes. Another option is to add chopped avocado or fresh salsa as a topping once baked.

Smudgies...

These aren't 100% clean because of the graham crackers but they are a great (heathy) verison of an ice cream sandwich and the kids love them too!

3-4 bananas

1/2 c natural peanut butter

low fat graham crackers

Mash bananas and natural peanut butter together and spread in between two low fat graham crakers. Place in zip loc freezer bag. Once frozen enjoy. Super easy & quick to make.



I will be making some clean BBQ Sauce and Honey Roasted Chick Peas as my little give aways  for my next Workshop to be held on Sunday May 19th from 1-3 at Edge Lifestyle Gym in Oakland, NJ

Hope to see you there. Happy Mother's Day to all you Mom's out there.

Not sure what my next plan is as far as competing goes but I do plan on trying and posting new clean eats each week. A good family plan for Sunday Dinners...

1 week Post Show...

One week has passed since my show...ugh!! Talk about roller coaster ride! The show itself was very long, exciting! Overall ,I had a really great time ,especially with all my friends backstage.  It's funny how one minute your on top of the world and the next you find yourself wiping out and landing at the bottom. For me that's exactly what has happened. Needless to say, I didn't place and I've always said at the end of the day it never mattered about where I placed and this still holds true- yet this time, I found myself disappointed?? Why was it different this time? Was it because this time I really thought in my heart I would've done better than coming in dead last in my category???? Ugh!!! Did I choose the wrong category? Was my posing not up to par? Was I not proportioned enough? These are all questions that filled my mind this entire week. I had promised myself I wouldn't get myself into a funk post show, like I had for all my previous shows. This has been a long, emotional and exhausting week, to say the very least. So, now I'm feeling like now what? Deep down I really want to figure this all out so bad. Why am I struggling with this? I'm sure we all feel this way from time to time?

Guess I'm still learning and will I ever stop? No, I never want to stop learning...I need to learn how to improve, how to maintain, and how to move on from disappointment. So it's back to the drawing boards for me. Time to pick up the broken pieces and put that puzzle back together again until I can do it with my eyes closed. Throughout all this I've learned and realized that this isn't something I can just quit or put on the back burner. I've got to pull myself out of that funk and figure it out. For me, my break is over. Back to working on improvement. I've only got a month and half before the kids are out of school. YIKES!!! I can do this!!! I need to do this!!!

Now onto the positive. At this show, I was so incredibly proud of my friends. They all looked gorgeous and some of them had placed. We all had our ups and downs for sure, yet being together in that dressing room- it was all about celebrating our own journeys that had got us there! I made my clean treats to share. It was like we were one big family down there. Helping each other out and cheering each other on. That experience is what keeps me in the game. Way to go GIRLS! Lets keep each other strong!

and so I'm going to try harder! It won't be easy but it will be worth it... Congrats again to all my friends and to all the competitors I competed with. See you at the next show.

Tomorrow is the big day...

Well the day I've been waiting for is almost here! I'm so excited and feeling great about all my hard work! I have a great feeling about this show.... I've learned so much in this contest prep. I set some goals and have reached them,what an incredible feeling to accomplish the goals I  set out to accomplish! I strongly suggest that everyone set a goal for themselves both small & big! It truly is the most amazing feeling...not to worry I'm already planning on setting new ones.

I'm so excited to catch up with old friends and to get all glamed up too! This is my celebration!  I will be posting lots of pictures of my weekend when I return home on Sunday. My food is packed and I feel like a bronze goddess... Lol! I'm on top of the world !!! Wish me luck...

8 days to "Shine"!

There's 8 days left before my show and I'm ready as I'll ever be. The topic above is worth it's weight for about 50% of all your hard earned work.(when it comes to competing, anyway...) Without believing in yourself you won't reach those goals you've set out for yourself. You could have the best body on stage, yet still fall short in the judges eyes. You've got to show them, how confident you really are! I personally will be thinking of all the sweat, tears, traffic jams, obstacles and everything else that tried to knock me down. I will be proud of myself for simply not letting those things get to me! I've learned a lot during this particular contest prep... one thing in particular is that I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. You've got to trust in your heart and realize that, that's ok!!! We all have different opinions, different goals, different bodies, different circumstances. Yet, if we remain true to ourselves, and follow our hearts we will reach those goals we set out to reach! You never know, maybe someday that person that saw things so differently, may begin seeing the same thing? Long after we've reached that goal we will feel confident, happy and content because we listened to ourselves. We will set new goals and get back on that roller coaster yet again. It's hard to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else...Pay attention to how you feel when living a healthy lifestyle. Stay true to yourself, live what you love, and always remain strong, you never know who you are inspiring!

In this last week before I head up to my competition, I still have a few more days of heavy training & sweating. It's time to get organized, pack my bag & check it twice. Then onto all the other little details, shaving, waxing, tanning, hair coloring, & nails....I also have to make sure the kids are set for their weekend with their Aunt Julie...She's my life saver. I can't thank her enough...I will feel at ease just knowing she's watching my kids. One less thing to worry about!

I will be taking lots of pictures next weekend and I can't wait to fill you in with all the details! Wish me luck...

Another note...my next workshop is scheduled for Sunday May 19th, 2013 from 1 p.m.- 3 p.m. Mark your calendars. Also check out Sonia Ryan Fitness on Facebook for more details....It's still under construction...lol

2 weeks out...

It's the final stretch...Monday, I was back at the gym and BOY did that feel good! I was back on track , just being home and knowing exactly what I needed to do to get myself stage ready. My motivation was at an all time high! I was looking forward to the week ahead. Upon arrival at my first day back at the gym, I walked into the ladies room to find that the sauna was working again!!! This just added to my excitement- as it had been broken for quite sometime. The long cold, nasty winter had me longing for that thing to function. Everyday I checked to see if was working.  So, needless to say, now I was completely overjoyed...yes, finally, everything was positive and working in my favor. At the end of my kick ass workout, I stepped into that sauna and there I met an amazing woman. In the past I was always been in it alone, sweating and doing crunches while sweating. Yup, you guessed it...I love to sweat!!! Anyhow, my point is we started talking while we were both enjoying the fact that it was working again and she shared her life history with me. She spoke of how she came to this country from Mexico, without speaking any English. She explained her struggles, she shared with me how she found success and ultimately finding something she loved and that was her job. She started working in a hospital as a cleaning lady at night because she was a Mom.  She managed to work her way up in the hospital, from cleaning lady to nursing, to then end up working alongside the Surgeons, handing them their necessary tools as they performed surgery's. She was passionate about it and wanted to learn everything she could.  I found her story fascinating! At the end of the day, she truly loved what she did and it had paid off! She is retired now,but was able to put her boys both through College, and now she's making time for herself. Ultimately, she was able to get that far because people believed in her, they noticed how much she cared, they noticed how hard she worked and in the end -she has had a very happy, and successful life thus far.  My reason for sharing this story with you, is that I'm realizing that when you love what you do and you continue to work hard it-It will all pay off ! Soon enough, people will slowly start to realize that about me. They will notice that my hopes and dreams are in helping others achieve a fit and healthy lifestyle. I'm not just in this for myself. This journey for me started out as being a role model to my kids and then really I took it more seriously when I attended my Uncle's Funeral, He was just 51 years old when he passed of cancer. Things really hit home for me as I watched his son cry ( who happens to be the same age as my son..)! Those are the things that began this journey and the desire for living a healthy lifestyle.

It's funny how things work out. I needed to have this conversation with her, because I was about to host my very first workshop this weekend. Of course, I was a little nervous and excited at the same time. Yet after having that conversation with her, everything seemed to be put into perspective for me. I just needed to trust that things would work out.  I wasn't sure what to expect? How many people would come? All I could do was put my heart and soul into it and just hope for the best. I didn't want to stress and freak out. Stressing, just isn't good for your body, anyhow! That would only hinder my progress in getting show ready.

The rest of the week, I just took  in stride. I took each day as it was and gave it my all! I'm finally at that point now, where I've realized that I can only do so much. I used to stress if I couldn't get my workout in and that would lead to diet mishaps, which would lead to further frustration. It was like a vicious cycle. One of my goals at the beginning of this journey was to figure out how to maintain after my show and not to fall into that now what Rut. I'm 2 weeks away from getting on that stage and I've realized this week that I've reached that goal I set out in the beginning of the year.  I finally have a better understanding on what to do after my show. Afterall, this is my lifestyle. The less I stress, the better. It's about doing what you love and doing what you can.

With that being said...My workshop didn't have the biggest turnout but it felt amazing to share my knowledge and I just know in my heart it will grow. I will have bigger turnouts in the future.I have to believe in that. Everyone has to start somewhere. Every Pro was once an amateur, every expert was once a beginner. So Dream big and start now.. My next workshop is scheduled for Sunday May 19th, 2013 from 1p.m.-3p.m. at Edge Lifestyle Gym in Oakland, NJ. Hope you can make it.

Now, It's time for me to dive into Chicken and Asparagus! Remember, STAY STRONG, STAY FOCUSED, EAT CLEAN, TRAIN HARD and take it day by day...

3 months in and 3 weeks to go....

Well, I'm back from vacation and feeling stressed because I have so much- yet still to do. My first and main full-time job as a Mom, has me doing overtime, just trying to get back on schedule...Laundry, laundry, laundry, and more laundry...and then, there's the food shopping along with prepping for the week ahead. I'm feeling overwhelmed and anxious, as not only am I getting ready for my show in three weeks, I'm also getting ready for my very first workshop this coming Sunday afternoon. I'm super excited and ultimately want to give these women every reason to want to keep coming and get others to come as well. I want to show them that although we are all faced with struggles, it is possible to live a healthy and fit lifestyle. I'm putting my heart and soul into this workshop. 

Speaking of struggles... It can be hard for others to fully understand my mind set during these last few weeks. I've always been a planner and super organized and at the end of the day I give myself anxiety for minimal reasons. It's who I am....I don't think I could take this on if I wasn't this way? In my head, I always have a constant list of to do's to get me to my goals and even just to get me through my day. I get stressed when I worry that I won't get to finish that list. I wish I didn't stress- buy hey, like I've said before, this is like a roller coaster ride! I've also heard- why would you do this if it stresses you out? Good question right? The way I see it, is Life in general is a roller coaster ride, would I get off that ride?NO!!!!Besides, I love every aspect of this, I continue to learn so much about myself and others.  I've also recently came across a quote on Pinterest that read "Women are not moody... We simply have days when we are less inclined to put up with your shit" ...That brings a chuckle inside me verytime I read it.  I'm sure many of you can relate, heck, I'm sure everyone has had days like that from one time to another. Anyway what drives me the most  is to share with women my own struggles and reason's for not giving up- in hope, that they too, won't give up, no matter how freaking crazy that roller coaster ride is! Nothing in life is perfect, it's how we learn ,grow, and improve. I utimately want to create an environment for like minded women to have someone to help them stay on track and find support in a new fit friend. We all need someone like that, I really believe that. You get what you give...

In the next few days I will be working on all the details of my workshop, I will be hitting the gym super hard along with extra sweaty cardio sessions twice a day until I cross that finish line. I've finished crystalizing my suit and will double check the crystals again to make sure they are glued correctly. I will also start using my body scrubs to wash away all that dry winter skin and maybe even do a trial with my tanning products. I have 3 different kinds so I want to see what works best. I have Bronze Angel by Dream Tan, (not my fav) Jan Tana and Pro Tan. I will let you know what works best after my trial. You can find these online. Do your research as some websites sell them for cheaper than others. I've found that www.allstarhealth.com sells them at lowest price. I've also purchased my costume jewelry for the show as well as registered. There's just 3 weeks left and as stressed as I am, I'm confident that I'll get it all done. I have to remain positive and maybe just take a few more breathers each day as it gets closer and closer...  I just have to learn how to channel that stress in a more postitive way. Stay focused, stay calm...you'll get there when you get there!

Here's my finished suit...

Week 11...& 4 weeks to go

 Well, I'm a little delayed in this post -as I am currently on vacation with my family. So, I'm really closer to 3 weeks away at this point... YIKES!!! Honestly, what was I thinking? Going on vacation while training for a show that's 4 weeks away.... I planned so hard ,every last detail on how I would make it through this vacation and stay on point. Yet, like all the other obstacles in the past 11 weeks, this would be, yet another challenging course. My goal is, of course that I would do my absolute best and just get thru the week. After all, this is life, right? I've realized that this is my lifestyle and in life there are many ups and downs, but as long as you stay true to what you believe in, it will all work out in the end. I keep telling myself that each day anyway...stay positive. The 11 hour (2day) car ride went really well, as I had my six pack bag filled with each meal I would need for half of the ride. The next day, I packed my cooler again for the last 5 hours on the road. This bag is one of the best gifts my husband has gotten me. Check them out at www.sixpackbags.com. As far as training would go I had planned on running each day and various outdoor workouts, assuming the weather would cooperate and being that I didn't have access to a gym....guess I should have thought outside the box. Nonetheless, I managed to do what I could. After all, I've been training for a long time and just because this week hasn't really gone as I had planned  I'm even more ready and determined to kick some serious ass when I return home!!!!!

While on vacation, I kept busy with the kids, swimming in the indoor pool, walking for miles, having sprint races and doing walking lunges with my boys in the campground parking lot. When the weather wasn't at its best, I got busy gluing crystals on my suit. I took each day and made it the best I could. It certainly wasn't easy and it certainly didn't run as smooth as I had planned. By mid week  I was lucky enough  to be introduced to an amazing fitness enthused woman and was able to take her H.I.I.T Class. She teaches these classes for free at the Rodanthe Community Center. Her energy was amazing and her class was exactly what I needed. So thank you Chandra! I'm always in awe, when I meet someone who's interested in living a healthy lifestyle. It really makes my day. This town is so lucky to have her teaching these classes! I'm taking her class again tomorrow morning and I'm super excited as  I need a good heart pumping sweaty workout in before I sit in the car for 11 hours again.

Boy do I ever...

Once I'm back home, this is when I will start to get into all those little details before I'm show ready like whitening my teeth, continuing to work on my stage presence, finishing the last details on my suit, tighten up my diet and sweating,  sweating and sweating some more. As much as I've enjoyed the beautiful sunsets and just being by the ocean, (I'm a true ocean girl at heart) I'm ready as heck, to get back into my routine. No more excuses, no more crazy challenging obstacles! It's a race to the finish line!

Week 10.....& 5 weeks to go!

Ok- so it's Game On!!!!With 5 weeks left till my show I'm stepping up my game and getting ready for that push. It's CRUNCH time... This is when you start focusing on all the little details, like tighten up your diet and for me personally that means cutting carbs, no more weekend cheat meal and giving up my love of "dirty" flavored creamer for my morning coffee! Heck, I've even given up coffee, altogether, because for me it's just not the same without that flavored hazelnut fat free creamer!!! Even though, it says fat free, it's still not "CLEAN" and this is the time where being "clean" needs to be spot on. It will make all the difference! I've also starting doing cardio twice a day for 30 minutes each time along with changing my weight training routine, yet again. I have always changed this every 4 weeks regardless if I'm doing a show or not. The goal is to keep your body guessing and therefore making your body work harder, which is also known as muscle confusion. I've also been practicing my stage presence, equally important, if not more important during these last few weeks. Practice, practice, practice...Smile, don't look down, own that stage, find that inner DIVA! Ok, so that took some time for me to get comfortable with...I'm not going to lie. LOL... When I first started practicing, I had this feeling of embarrassment because, I didn't want to come off as this women who's full of herself! I'd be mortified if anyone ever thought of me in that way. Lol, but I know without a single doubt, I'm not that person. I'm know the difference between being full of yourself and those who exude confidence. After all, heck, I should be proud of what I've accomplished yet at the same time remaining true to my humble self. With that being said, I've never been one to worry about what others think. I think its very important for all women and men to realize that, within themselves.  All you can do, is stay true to yourself, work hard, set goals and be kind, loving, non judgemental and supportive. That to me is the true meaning of beauty. Which, brings me to my next topic...

My workshops....After brainstorming a new plan, it is now official. My very first workshop is to be held on Sunday- April 14th, 2013 in Oakland, NJ at Edge Lifestyles Gym from 1pm-3pm. I'm super excited to host this workshop and with many others to follow... My ultimate goal, is for  those that attend my workshops to learn the "importance" in making time for themselves and also to be surrounded by other like- minded women. With that, just maybe, at the same time -they will develop friendships, have new workout partners along with having someone to help hold them accountable. It's always great to have a support network when living a healthy lifestyle. Because, at the end of the day, we all need that guidance and that occasional, hey your doing a great job! So, pass the word along, it's going to be great! I'm very excited to share my knowledge with all of you.

Stay tuned for next week as I will go over the next few details in getting show ready....

Workshops coming soon...

Ok, so here's what I've been working on and I'm excited to hear your feedback.

Week 9....

My Philosophy…

We all have a purpose in life; we all have a calling, a special gift or talent… That, special something that when shared with others it - truly makes a world of difference! My ultimate goal is to show women, of all ages, the true meaning of beauty “inside & out”. I strive to show them that they are capable of doing anything they set their minds on. I want to show them how to exude confidence and ultimately find the importance in making time for themselves. As a very busy mother of four and a figure competitor, sure my life can be extremely hectic, yet at the same time very fulfilling as I’ve found my purpose! I’m excited to share this with all women. After all, it is possible to get in Bikini shape.

Sonia Ryan Fitness

Week 8....

Ok, so as amped up as I was last week after learning that the camps I had put together didn't work out, I had so many mixed emotions...feelings of defeat, doubtfulness, and then feelings of YES! I CAN DO THIS...I wrote about all these things and even promising to figure out a plan on how to keep going and to stand on my own two feet again.
You see it can and does happen sometimes even to the best of us. One minute, we feel like we can conquer any challenges that come our way and the very next day things can come to a crashing hault!
Well, for starters, this was one of those weeks for me anyway... I felt like I had entered a marathon and it was the day of the race and I hadn't eaten for a week. It was my "what the hell" moment! So many things and emotions spiraling out of control. Things I can't even begin to get into...I truly felt defeated! These obstacles had proved to be to gut wrenching and I truly felt unprepared. How do I even begin to finish this race? I found myself at the lowest of lows... Maybe, I just needed a break?Just maybe all the things that had troubled me, happened for a reason? So, I had no choice but to listen to my body. At this point I was too emotional to continue eating clean and training hard. So with a few tears shed, some late afternoon naps, and some comfort food, I was on my way to feeling better. With  just shy of a week off, I woke up this morning with a new attitude and realized that, That voice in my head that was telling me" I couldn't do this was lying!" "I CAN DO THIS,& I WILL DO THIS!" There's something inside of me that won't let it die...
It's important for everyone to understand that sometimes we are faced with uncertainty and extreme hardships  that can knock us to the ground, while leaving us wondering if we will ever be able to get up again????  It is equally important to realize that- hey, you may need to take a break and find comfort or even support from a friend or spouse. Once you've recovered ,you will find that same determination and hard work that made you fall in love with living a healthy lifestyle! Today felt like I was starting all over again, but so what, at least I feel better after a good sweat session. So "Rock On"! Spring is around the corner which means Bikini Season is not too far behind.....
Keep reminding yourself that persistence is far more important than perfection. You will get there when you get there.

Which suit would you like to see me in....

Not sure what my plan is yet, the thought of a new suit is exciting...

I'm trying to decide on a suit and I need your help....

Which color or style would look good on me???

Let me know what your vote is.....

Week 7....

Well for starters this is my topic for this week! Many of you who've been reading my weekly blogs at some point may have noticed my flier for a one day Glam Camp, that may I, dare say... I've worked so hard on trying to make this event happen and for future camps as well. I had a vision on how to help other women looking to compete, as I know first hand what it feels like to be a new competitor. There are so many questions, & concerns and it seems not all coaches or people that have been in the world of competing have that patience to deal with all those questions and concerns a newbie may have. That is where I would have come in and still may in the future. For now, I have my blog.  Ultimately, things didn't work out for this particular event and for the  future camps with this person.  I was crushed with disappointment and hurt that all my hard work and dedication wasn't seen or valued in a way that I thought it would be. I should have known better than to put all my eggs in one basket! This is just another lesson in life and I wouldn't change all the hard work I put into it, I would have, however, made sure that we were 100% in agreement before ultimately wasting so much time and effort only to not be compensated! Nonetheless, I've got to hold my head high, stay strong, stay focused and intern revamp a few things. Besides, just by writing this blog, hopefully I'm able to help others in some way. That to me, is the most gratifying! Being able to help other women who want to live a healthy and fit lifestyle.  I'm also in the process of getting myself competition ready and so this brings justification to my topic "Good Things Come To Those Who Work Their Asses Off and Never, Ever Give Up!!!!!"

I can promise, that I will continue to figure out a plan on how to help not only, other future competitors, but all women who ultimately want to get in fabulous bikini shape!  Anything is possible when you fully believe in yourself and if your not afraid to work hard! Sure, there will always be ups & downs, as their are for many other things in life but I really think when you feel good about yourself, you are more capable in dealing with these obstacles. Stay tuned for a new and improved flier! I'm working on another plan as we speak...

There are 8 weeks left until my show. I'm as focused as ever and my eye is on the prize! I close my eyes and I can envision the final product! All my hard work will pay off! I will have improved my stage presence and the areas on my body that I thought needed improvements, will have vastly improved. Today, after my work out, I busted out my clear 6 inch heels and practiced posing. I plan on practicing every day for at least 15 minutes. The workouts I've put together for myself, I'm still feeling are right on track! I'm looking forward to spring as I can return to my early morning outdoor runs. I've also made a few little tweaks to my diet posted. In support of my best friend,( who's also competing with me) I've eliminated all fruit from my diet as she has had to do the same, and so we are going through it together. It's amazing what happens when you have someone that can relate to you and be supportive with. I've also started to carb cycle. By carb cycling, I mean one day I may have 3 servings of carbs & the next day I may have one. This will keep my body guessing and in turn make my body work harder. My plan is to try this for the next 2 weeks and monitor how my body responds. I will also add more recipes for all of you to try. Chicken, Turkey & Egg Whites can get boring for some and also can become so monotonous that you find yourself cheating on your diet. I'm always trying out new recipes and recommend you check out www.oxygenmagazine.com as they have great resources for recipes and training.

Make sure to wake up everyday with "determination" and go to bed everyday with "satisfaction" Take it one day at a time... but most of all Always stay POSITIVE!

Week 6....

It's time to hit cruise control...by that I mean it is time to stop worrying about any "traffic" that may occur. You'll get there when you get there! It's time to get going, work hard, get focused and keep your eye on that goal. Take each day as it is. Give every day 100% and you will begin to see results. Like many of you, the winter time blues as gotten the best of me and I'm done with it, in more ways than one. From here on out I'm going to put a little extra "spring" in my steps and think of the warm sunny days ahead. I'm all about turning the negative into positive. So this week at my most negative point I decided with the help of my kids to put together my little motivational countdown poster to hang by my bed as a reminder to push forward. No more days of feeling blah!  I've got just about 9 1/2 weeks to get on that stage. Sure they're will be lots of obstacles ahead but this is where my mind needs to get in the game. Just get through those obstacles carefully all while staying true to the plan I've carved out for myself.

Speaking of my plan, I'm very pleased with what I've put together so far. I may make minor tweaks to my diet but the workouts have been great. I certainly feel my body responding to the changes. It is so important to change up your routine at least every 4 weeks to keep your body guessing. If you continually do the same routine over and over again, your body will never respond. Even with my current plan on some days I'll add a random exercise that's not even on the page like box jumps at the end of my set or sprints in between sets. These get my heart racing and in turn burning more fat. Burn Baby Burn that fat away! Lol...

This is also the time where I need to start practicing my stage presence and practice those T-walks. Its just as important as all the hard work you put into getting your body into amazing shape. You need to exude confidence, smile and own that stage! This for me, is especially something I need to work on and I intend on vastly improving! There are lots of little tricks out there, like putting Vaseline on your teeth, as it helps with smiling and if you don't wear heels on a regular basis, try to wear them around the house while your doing chores like vacuuming or doing laundry. The more you do this, the more comfortable you will feel, and before you know it, you will look very natural walking in them. I happen to love wearing heels and wear them all the time so I'm completely comfortable walking on stage with them. My area of weakness is the posing. Sometimes I tend to look down and I need to smile more. I need to find my inner Diva and let her shine! And so, I will add this to my obstacle course.

Now lets get thru this obstacle course called" life" with these words PATIENCE, POSITIVE ATTITUDE, SELF RESPECT, HARD WORK & DEDICATION! All while bringing out our inner "Diva"...